When an Elderly Parent Refuses to Make a Will

An elderly parent may need your encouragement to get an estate plan.
An elderly parent may need your encouragement to get an estate plan.

This is a tough scenario. It happens more often than you’d think. Your elderly parent or other family member owns a home, investment accounts and a retirement account, but doesn’t want to have an estate plan. They know they need to do something, but keep putting it off—until they die, and the family is left with an expensive and stressful mess. A recent article titled “How to Get a Loved One to Visit an Estate Planning Attorney Before It’s Too Late” from Kiplinger, suggests ways to talk to a family member about the need for an estate plan.

Most people put off seeing an estate planning attorney, because they are afraid of death. They may also be overwhelmed by the thought of how much work is involved. They are also worried about what it all might cost. However, if there is no estate plan, the costs will be far higher for the family.

How do you get your elderly parent or other family member to understand that they need to move forward?

Talk with the financial professionals your elderly parent or family member already uses and trusts, like a CPA or financial advisor. Ask them for a referral to an estate planning attorney they think would be a good fit with your family member who doesn’t have an estate plan. It may be easier to hear this message from a CPA, than from an adult child.

Work with that professional to help your older family member get comfortable with the idea of talking about their wishes and values with the estate planning attorney. Offer to attend the meeting, or to facilitate the video conference, to make your loved one feel more comfortable.

An experienced estate planning attorney will have worked with reluctant people before. They’ll know how to put the older person at ease and explore their concerns. When the conversation is pleasant and productive, the person may understand that the process will not be as challenging as they had thought and that there will be a lot of help along the way.

If there is no trusted team of professionals, then offer to be a part of any conversations with the estate planning attorney to make the introductory discussion easier. Share your own experience in estate planning with your older family member and mention the reasons that prompted you to create an estate plan. Those reasons could include the peace of mind knowing that your family will not be faced with the time consuming and expensive task of trying to straighten out your affairs after you are gone.

Sometimes the best way to initiate a conversation with your elderly parents about estate planning is to mention that you are planning to do your own estate plan and ask their advice on what issues your should be considering. That may make it easier to ask your family member what they have done regarding their own estate plan.

Trying to force a person to engage in estate planning with a heavy hand, almost always ends up in a stubborn refusal. A gentle approach will always be more successful. Explaining how an estate plan includes not only distributing assets at death, but planning for medical decisions while the person is living, may motivate an otherwise reluctant family member to take that first step.

Describing what the family members will need to go through if there is no will, may or may not have an impact. Some people don’t care, and may simply shrug and say, “It’ll be their problem, not mine.” Consider what or who matters to the person. What if they could leave a gift to a favorite charity or create a fund for their grandchildren to go to college? That might be more motivating.

Another thing to consider: what if your elderly parent or family member has an estate plan and it is out of date? That may be just as bad as not having an estate plan at all, especially if tax laws have changed since the estate plan was made. Also, what if, instead of naming their children as agents to make medical decisions for them, an old health care directive names an undesirable person, such as a former brother-in-law to make medical decisions?

Most people really want to have an estate plan in place, but just never get around to doing it. You could provide a great service to your elderly parent or other family member by giving them the encouragement and assistance to move forward so they can cross this task off their list of things they need to take care of.

You may also be interested in https://galligan-law.com/caring-for-an-elderly-parent-without-ruining-your-relationship/.

Reference: Kiplinger (May 11, 2020) “How to Get a Loved One to Visit an Estate Planning Attorney Before It’s Too Late”

 

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Warning Signs That There May a Will Contest After You Die

Address issues in your estate planning now to avoid a Will Contest later.
Address issues in your estate planning now to avoid a Will Contest later.

One of the goals of estate planning is to avoid conflict in the family, including a Will contest, after a loved one passes away.

Take a look at the following situations. If any of them apply to you, know that you can take steps now to minimize the chance of a Will contest in the future.

Here are 10 warning signs that there may be family conflict after you are gone:

  • There are step-parents and step-children – and you want to be fair to everyone
  • You have lent money during your lifetime to one child; or one child has needed more help from you during your lifetime than your other children.
  • You plan to leave all or a large portion of your estate to charity or to a non-relative.
  • You have a lifestyle certain members of your family don’t approve of.
  • You have children who don’t get along – it will get worse after you are gone.
  • Your children’s abilities to handle money differ – one is prudent, another is a spendthrift.
  • Your extended family members disagree on how your minor children should be raised if you are not there do to so yourself.
  • Some of your children work in the family business; others do not.
  • One child has moved into your house to take care of you (or has moved into your house because of a financial setback).
  • You have family heirlooms and have not left instructions on how they are to be divided.

Every family has its issues. While it may not always be possible to eliminate all conflict, there are ways to structure your estate plan so as to minimize the chance of a Will contest. If any of these situations apply to you, contact an estate planning attorney now to find out what steps you need to take to preserve family harmony in the future.

You may also be  interested in https://galligan-law.com/does-your-executor-know-what-to-do/.

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When Do You Need a Special Power of Attorney?

A special power of attorney can help you take care of business when you're unavailable.
A special power of attorney can help you take care of business when you’re unavailable.

Yahoo Finance’s recent article entitled “What is Special Power of Attorney?” explains that with a general power of attorney, you can designate a person to make decisions when you are unable, due to illness or incapacity. A general power of attorney allows your agent (the person you select) to do almost anything related to your financial affairs that you could do, including, for example, file your tax returns, sell your house, access bank records, or sign financial contracts in your name. There are usually few, if any, limitations.

A special power of attorney only applies to specific circumstances. This is also called limited power of attorney. An agent named in a special or limited power of attorney can only act in situations included in your power of attorney document. Maybe you’re traveling or out of town when an important transaction need to take place. A special power of attorney is often used to sell property when the buyer or seller is unable to attend the closing in person. In a special power of attorney you can set limitations and conditions under which your agent is authorized to act.

You can have multiple special powers of attorney, depending on your situation. You may want to give one agent the power to run your business while you’re away and give another agent the power to sell your car.

Remember that a special power of attorney, like a general power of attorney, only applies during your lifetime. If the special power of attorney does not include a date when it terminates, it must end when you pass away. Your assets would then be managed pursuant to the terms of your will or trust, if you have either. If a person dies without a will, then in most cases the assets are distributed according to the probate laws of the state where the person lived.

Typically, creating special power of attorney involves the following:

  • Naming a person to act as your agent
  • Detailing the specific terms under which a power of attorney will take effect
  • Determining which authority your agent will have
  • Designating a successor agent, if necessary, and
  • Choosing an end date for the power of attorney to terminate

A special power of attorney is just one of the documents you may need for your estate plan. You should also ask your estate planning attorney about a last will and testament and a living trust to help you manage assets, according to your wishes after you pass away. Other critical documents include advance health care directives which state the kind of care you should receive when you can’t make medical decisions for yourself.

For more information on other estate planning documents you may need see https://galligan-law.com/living-wills-and-medical-powers-of-attorney-why-they-are-important/.

Reference: Yahoo Finance (Feb. 28, 2020) “What is Special Power of Attorney?”

 

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