How do I Help my Parents with Money Problems

Today many people are taking care of parents. Having a discussion and boundaries between parent and child, as well as seeking professional advice, can help.

According to a 2019 study by the Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, 8% of Gen Xers and 3% of Boomers say supporting their parents is a top financial priority in their lives.  Similarly, a study from TD Ameritrade found that 13% of Americans are supporting a parent, including 19% of millennials.  With so many individuals taking care of parents, it is important both everyone to be prudent

Next Avenue’s recent article entitled “When Your Parents Need Financial Help” says that if this is a financial priority for you, try a respectful approach to see the extent of your parents’ money issues and what you might be able to do to help.

There is one financial issue that your parents may have. They may have failed to set aside money for long-term care, because of their debts.  Ideally they would start planning well before they are dependent, but there is no time like the present to address a problem.  For long-term care assistance, ask an elder law attorney for help. We can investigate your parents’ eligibility for Medicaid or other benefits to help pay for care.  This article has a much fuller overview on those issues.  https://galligan-law.com/long-term-care-whats-it-all-about/

However, before you jump in with both feet, consider your own money situation. Remember your own finances come first, because it you don’t, you risk your own finances by overcommitting. Therefore, if you can afford to help them, you have to establish boundaries. If you have siblings, bring them into the discussion and ask about sharing the responsibility. After you figure out to what extent you can afford to help financially, reach out to your parents — with care. You don’t want to come off as criticizing or judging them for making financial mistakes or bad financial decisions.

It’s important to begin the conversation early when taking care of parents, especially financially. You also may want to refer your parents to a financial planner or to a credit counselor. If housing is a major expense, it may be time for your parents to downsize to a more affordable home. You can also look into having them move in with you.  If not a topic of discussion, perhaps you’re able to review their expenses to see what they can cut and help them find ways to improve their financial situation. You should also look into federal, state, and local resources, like benefits for which your parents may be eligible.

It may be an issue of diminishing capacity and worth discussing with your parents’ doctors.  I once had a client who almost overnight spent thousands of dollars on QVC.  She spent because it was on TV and had no concept of how much she purchased or how much she spent.  Having family involved before hand may help eliminate or reduce those issues.

After you’ve delved into all the resources, and you’re also ready to help your parents financially, make sure you incorporate all of this into your own financial plan. Instead of handing your parents cash or a check to pay outstanding bills, pay the bills yourself. This will allow you to be certain that the money is actually used for the bill, rather than something else.  You can best accomplish this as the agent for your parents under a power of attorney or as trustee of their living trust.

Many people taking care of parents also choose to provide for their parents in their estate plans. It is very common to do so, but if you do, consider leaving assets to your parents in a trust, such as a supplemental needs trust.  That way, they receive the benefit of the money while protecting assets, preserving Medicaid eligibility and avoiding many of the problems this article is addressing.

Ensure that your parents know that you have their best interests at heart, when assisting them with long-term care. Be respectful of your parents and tell them you’re not trying to take over.  Taking care of parents doesn’t have to be a fight, it should be about everyone helping each other.

Reference: Next Avenue (Jan. 30, 2020) “When Your Parents Need Financial Help”

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Will New Tool Help Dementia Patients and Their Doctors?

A new tool may help doctors predict life expectancy with dementia to enable patients and families to make important, informed decisions on long term care.

Researchers think that a new tool for dementia patients could help these individuals, as well as their care providers better communicate about the disease and risk of death and develop future care plans as it progresses by predicting life expectancy with dementia.

Dementia is a non-specific clinical syndrome that involves cognitive impairments with the level of severity to interfere with social or occupational functioning.  The disease involves at least two areas of affected cognition – memory, language, reasoning, attention, perception, or problem solving.  Memory loss by itself isn’t necessarily dementia, because there can be many causes of memory loss. Some of the most common types of dementia are Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal dementia and vascular dementia.  Dementia may require substantial long term care, and life expectancy with dementia would be helpful for families to plan appropriately.  See here for more details.  https://galligan-law.com/elder-law-questions/

McKnight’s Long-Term Care News’ recent article entitled “New tool predicts life expectancy of dementia patients” reports that almost half (48%) of residents in nursing homes have a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“In those cases, a tool like this can be an incentive to start such a conversation, which should be held before there are too many cognitive obstacles.” said Sara Garcia-Ptacek, a researcher at the Karolinska Institutet in Sweden.  She went on to note that this discussion could be about where someone would prefer to live, at home or in other accommodation, or anything else that needs planning.

The tool uses four characteristics to predict life expectancy: sex, age, cognitive ability and comorbidity factors.

In the intensive research, investigators tested the tool using data from more than 50,000 patients who were diagnosed with dementia between 2007 and 2015.  These researchers found that that the tool was able to predict three-year survival following a dementia diagnoses with “good accuracy.”  The new tool also found that patients who were older, male and had lower cognitive function at diagnoses were more likely to die during that time period.

Although dementia is always a difficult situation, both for the patient and the family, this tool predicting life expectancy with dementia will help everyone make more better, more informed decisions about long term care and caregiving.

Reference: McKnight’s Long-Term Care News (Jan. 26, 2020) “New tool predicts life expectancy of dementia patients”

 

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Choosing a Nursing Home

Choosing a nursing home is more than looking at the website and brochure, examine the data on the homes before you need them to find the right place for you.

Choosing a nursing home may be a daunting task, but the best time to shop for a nursing home is when you do not need one. If you wait until you can no longer safely or comfortably live on your own, you probably will not be in a position to do a lot of legwork to investigate facilities. Do your research well ahead of time, so you know the nursing homes in your area that provide high-quality care and, more importantly, the ones that have significant problems.

As AARP suggested in a recent article, you need to know how to spot problems at nursing homes when comparing and choosing a nursing home.  The marketing brochure, website and lobby might be lovely, but you should base your decision about a long term care facility on much more data than those things.  My article on what to look for at assisted living facilities may also be helpful: https://galligan-law.com/checklist-when-visiting-assisted-living-facilities/ Here are some tips on how to dig for possible issues and resources to review when choosing a nursing home.

  • Online search. Check out the facility’s website to get an overview of the services it offers and the industry affiliations or certifications it has. Look at the daily menus to see if the meals are nutritious and have enough variety. Most people would not enjoy eating the same main course two or three times a week. Look at the activities calendar to see if you would be happy with the planned social events. On some websites, you can view the floor plans of the resident rooms.
  • Ask your primary care doctor to name a few facilities he would recommend for his parents, and those where he would not want them to live.
  • Local Office on Aging location. Every state has an Office on Aging. Contact them to get as much information as you can about safety records, injuries, deaths, regulation violations and complaints about local facilities.
  • Your state’s Long-term Care Ombudsman (LCO). Every state also has an Ombudsman who investigates allegations against nursing homes and advocates for the residents. Your state LCO should have a wealth of information about the facilities in your area.
  • State Online Database or Reporting System. Some states have online databases or collect reports about nursing homes.
  • Medicare’s Nursing Home Compare website. Medicare maintains an online tool, Nursing Home Compare, that provides detailed information on nursing homes. Every nursing home that gets any funding from Medicare or Medicaid is in this database. You can enter the name of a specific nursing home or search for all the facilities in a city or zip code. The tool includes information about abuse at long-term care facilities. On the webpage, you can explore the Special Focus Facility section to find nursing homes with a history of problems.
  • Word of mouth. Ask your friends, relatives and neighbors to recommend a quality nursing home. Personal experience can be extremely valuable in this context.
  • Make a short list of the top candidates. After you collect as much information as you reasonably can, narrow your options down to four or five facilities that best meet your needs and preferences.
  • Visit your top choices. There is no substitute for going to a nursing home and checking it out in person. Pay attention to the cleanliness of the place throughout, not just in the lobby. Give the facility the “sniff” test. Determine whether they use products to mask unpleasant odors, instead of cleaning thoroughly. See whether the residents are well-groomed and wearing fresh, clean clothes. Observe the interaction of the staff with the residents. Notice whether people who need assistance at mealtime, get the help they need without having to wait.
  • Take online reviews with a grain of salt. Fake reviews are all over the internet. If you see a nursing home with only a few reviews, and they are all five stars, be skeptical.  But, hundreds of excellent reviews is a great sign.

Once you gather this information, you will be ready in the event you need to stay in a nursing home for a short recuperation from surgery or longer term.

References:

AARP. “Finding a Nursing Home: Don’t Wait Until You Need One to Do the Research.” (accessed December 5, 2019) https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2019/finding-a-nursing-home.html

CMS. “Find a nursing home.” (accessed December 5, 2019) https://www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html

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