Probate Lawyers Say Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning

Probate lawyers say it's important to talk to your parents about estate planning.
Probate lawyers say it’s important to talk to your parents about estate planning.

Probate lawyers often meet with adult children who are trying to settle their parents’ estates. Many times these children are surprised by their parents’ financial situation and the lack of estate planning that their parents have done. When little or no estate planning has been done, it can be expensive and time consuming to deal with all the unresolved issues that  result. That’s why probate lawyers strongly encourage adult children to talk to their aging parents about their finances, their feelings about health care decisions, and whether they have an estate plan in place. But this is easier said than done. How do you start a conversation that includes a discussion of a family member’s mortality?

Sometimes the way to ease into a conversation with aging parents about money and their estate plan, is to discuss your own. If you want to know about their will or estate plan, start by explaining your own estate plan, how you’ve decided to set up your estate and then ask what they’ve done for themselves.

The conversation may feel awkward the first time you start it, says the Daily Local News in the article “Ask your folks about their financial plans,” but you need to get to where everyone is comfortable having the conversation. Your parents’ plans might impact yours, and visa versa. So, it’s good to talk “early and often” not only about your parents’ estate plan, but how they are planning for the costs of retirement, including health care.

It’s important for aging parents to understand that, if something happens to them, their children are the most likely ones to step in and take charge. Your parents need to understand that the more you know in advance, the better equipped you’ll be to make sure that their wishes are followed.

A good opening is to talk about your plans to save for retirement. Ask your parents what they did, or do, about 401(k) contributions. This will give you insight into how well-prepared and knowledgeable they are about retirement savings. If you’re house hunting, that’s an excellent opportunity to get them talking about their furture plans for living arrangements. Do you need to buy a home with a possible “in-law” suite in mind? It’s not a bad question to ask. It shows that you are thinking about their future needs.

Probate lawyers have seen how untangling an estate when there’s no will and no advance planning has been done can tear a family apart. That’s the last thing you or your parents want. Talking openly with them about money, trusts, wills, life insurance and advance medical directives, will give you an idea of what they have or have not done to plan for the future. It may spur your parents on to move forward with their estate plan, if they have been procrastinating.

Even if you learn that they haven’t done any planning and don’t have a will, that is better than not knowing until it’s too late. If you learn that this is the case, you can start educating them about what will happen if they don’t meet with an estate planning attorney. You can offer to take them to meet your estate planning attorney or to give them a few names so that they can decide who they are most comfortable with. This could help them avoid some common estate planning mistakes.

Setting up your own estate plan is another opportunity to ask your parents what they did and what their thoughts are about your  estate plan. Their family may have never done any estate planning, and they might have more than a few family horror stories to share. In that case, you can help them change the family’s dynamic by encouraging them to take a different path.

Reference: Barchart (April 16, 2019) “Ask your folks about their financial plans”

Suggested Key Terms: 

Continue ReadingProbate Lawyers Say Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning

Does Your Estate Planning Include Your Online Account Passwords?

Your estate plan should include a way to access your passwords
Your estate plan should include a way to access your passwords.

With most bank customers receiving financial statements electronically instead of on paper, there are some actions you need to take to be sure your online accounts are incorporated into your estate planning.

Kiplinger’s recent story, “Your Estate Plan Isn’t Complete Without Fixing the Password Problem,” says that having online access to investments is a great convenience for us. We can monitor bank balances, conduct stock trades, transfer funds and many other services that not long ago required the help of another person.

The bad thing about these advancements, is that they can make for a very difficult situation for a surviving spouse, the executor of your estate, or the successor trustee of your living trust,  attempting to determine where the assets of a deceased person are held.

This was in the news recently, when the founder and CEO of a cryptocurrency exchange died unexpectedly. Gerry Cotten didn’t share the password to the exchange’s cold storage locker—leaving $190 million in cryptocurrency belonging to his clients totally inaccessible. Investors may never see their funds again.

You can see how important it is that your estate plan provides a way for someone to access your online data, if you become incapacitated or die. This is also true for your other digital assets such as email and social media accounts. It can be a heart breaking situation for a family who wants to access photos and other online memories left behind by a deceased loved one if they are unable to do so because they don’t know the passwords.

The easiest, but least secure, answer is to just give your passwords to a trusted family member or the person you have appointed as executor of your estate or successor trustee of your living trust. Remember, they’ll need the passwords to access your online accounts. They’ll also need a password to access your email, where electronic financial statements are sent.

Another option is to write down and place all passwords in a safe deposit box. But you’ll need to let your agent under a power of attorney, the executor of your estate, or the successor trustee of your living trust, know that the passwords are in your safety deposit box so that they may take steps to access them in the event you are deceased or incapacitated.

But the problem with storing your passwords in a safety deposit box is that it requires diligence to keep the password list updated.

Another option to consider is a password manager, which is an app that keeps track of all your passwords across all your devices. With a password manager, you, or anyone who needs to have access to your passwords, will only need to know one password that, when used, will give access to all your other passwords. That one password may be kept in a safety deposit box, a safe at your home, a locked file drawer, or any other secure location. You should share the password, or the location of the password, with the trusted people who will handle your affairs if you should become incapacitated and after you die.

Finally, your estate planning documents should include provisions that authorize your agent under a power of attorney, the executor of your estate, or the successor trustee of your living trust, to access and manage your social media and online accounts.

Reference: Kiplinger (April 19, 2019) “Your Estate Plan Isn’t Complete Without Fixing the Password Problem”

Suggested Key Terms: 

Continue ReadingDoes Your Estate Planning Include Your Online Account Passwords?

Why Your Estate Planning Attorney May Recommend an Ethical Will

Individuals can write their own ethical will or legacy letter.
Estate planning attorneys recommend clients consider writing an ethical will or legacy letter.

Unlike a legal will, an ethical will, which is sometimes called a legacy letter, is not written by attorneys, but by individuals. They include life lessons, family stories, values, define hopes for the future for loved ones, apologies to anyone they have hurt and gratitude to those who haven’t been thanked enough. When the discussion turns to ethical wills, people often sigh and say they wish they had such a document from a parent or a grandparent. For that reason, more and more estate planning attorneys are recommending that, in addition to a traditional will, their clients consider writing an ethical will or a legacy letter.

Anyone can write a an ethical will or a legacy letter, and it can be directed to anyone.

Estate planning attorneys often suggest to parents of young children that they detail in an ethical will or legacy letter how they they want their children to be raised, if they are not there to do so, themselves.

People without children can create ethical wills to share them with the friends who have become their family. For example, there was a woman who had been placed in child protective services, because her parents were not able to care for her. She wanted to write a letter to other foster children to share her story and let them know that they too could overcome a rough start to life. There are other examples of how people approached preparing a legacy letter that your estate planning attorney can share with you.

Whoever you are, you have a story to tell. You don’t have to be a war hero or win a Nobel Prize to have a story that will be loved by your family, friends, or even strangers. Every one of us has a unique journey through life, and we all have lessons, stories and values to share.

The process of writing an ethical will can bring great peace of mind. By writing an ethical will, you’ve created a legacy that will live on, long after you are gone. For some people, writing a legacy letter to share their values fosters clarity of their values. That leads them to start living their life more intentionally.

For a regular will and an estate plan, yes, you need an experienced estate planning attorney. However, with a legacy will, you can do it on your own.  Don’t worry too much about format or grammar in your legacy letter. Whether your legacy letter is elegant or rough, simple or complex, as long as it contains the truth, it will be a wonderful gift.

Tell stories to share your values; they are better than lists of what matters to you. One woman wrote a story about signing a contract for a job that she thought was clerical but turned out to be factory work. She fumed about it, but her parents explained that she had signed a contract and made a commitment. She stuck with the job, learning about integrity, persistence and diligence. After that job was completed, the employment agency sent her on great assignments, because they knew she was reliable and stuck to her word. That’s a life lesson to share.

There are some things that should be left out of a legacy letter. Criticism, judgments, regrets and family secrets need to be given serious consideration. What are you trying to accomplish with a letter that will be shared among generations? You don’t want to leave behind a legacy of destruction. If you write such a letter, read it a few times over a period of time to see, if that’s really how you want to be remembered. You can always tear it up and start over again.

Ask a trusted friend or your estate planning attorney to have a look at your legacy letter. They may see omissions that hurt the ones you love, like the woman who wrote about her two children, but devoted pages to one and not the other. An objective reader will be able to help you avoid some pitfalls.

Videos and recordings are great.  However, remember that technology changes, and the phone that you record your video on may not work in five, ten, or fifty years. Include a hard copy of the letter and add hard copy family photos. Those will work, regardless of changes to technology.

Finally, consider sharing the letter with members of the family before you die. What a wonderful gift to share. This way you can expand on the stories, mend wounds, answer questions and grow closer.

When is the best time to create your legacy letter? How about now?

If you aren’t sure how to start writing a legacy letter, there are websites and books about this topic, including online templates. There are no legal requirements for a legacy will. You are free to create a document any way you want. If you need assistance, let us know. The estate planning attorneys at The Galligan Law Firm would be happy to share their thoughts with you and suggestions based on how others have approached creating a legacy letter.

Reference: Next Avenue (April 11, 2019) “The Ethical Will: Life Is About More Than Your Possessions”

Suggested Key Terms: 

Continue ReadingWhy Your Estate Planning Attorney May Recommend an Ethical Will