How to Be a Good Caregiver

Being a caregiver is both a rewarding and demanding role.  Here are some tips to be a good caregiver.

If you find yourself suddenly in a caregiving role, you may not know where to begin.  CaringBridge’s recent article entitled “5 Tips to Be a Good Caregiver” provides some great advice on how to be a good caregiver.

Communicate. This is the most important factor, when trying to be a good caregiver. Caregivers should strive to communicate with patience, understanding and empathy.  A person being taken care of can sometimes feel like they’re a burden or a nuisance. Good communication and reassurance can help prevent that. You should also have communication between you and your other family and friends. Asking for help isn’t always easy, but those who care about you will want to support you.

Take Care of Yourself.  When you’re constantly on call caring for a person who is ill, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. Caregivers can be so overwhelmed that they’re unable to take time for their other family or interests. They can feel guilty being away from the person in need.  Studies even show that serving as a caregiver often takes a toll on the caregiver’s health.

Your health and well-being are important too, and you can’t be a good caregiver to your loved one if you aren’t healthy. Prioritize your own health, physical and mental—it’s vital for both you and your loved one.

Have a Lot of Patience. This is important because it’s helpful to be patient with yourself. You’ll make mistakes, but remember that you’re trying your best, and no one’s perfect. You should also be aware that communication can sometimes be difficult when you’re caregiving. Your loved one might say or do something that hurts your feelings. This is often due to the underlying illness which may affect your loved one’s personality.  However, do your best to be patient and empathetic. Don’t take it personally. Try to look at the situation with understanding and acceptance to battle discouragement.  This article provides guidance on the topic as well.  https://galligan-law.com/caring-for-an-elderly-parent-without-ruining-your-relationship/

Create Boundaries. When spending so much time with one person, and sharing their most intimate moments, it’s still important to have some boundaries. These can include you knowing your own limitations and what you’re comfortable doing for that person. Boundaries also apply to the person receiving the care and things, such as the way in which that want to be cared for and their likes and dislikes. Boundaries allow both people to be happier.

Remind Yourself of Your Mission. Sometimes, you can become a caregiver out of necessity or a sudden crisis. Nonetheless, at the center of the situation is love and empathy. Caregivers love and want the best for the person they’re helping. You should try to harness that compassion to keep you motivated through hard times.

Get Help.  With so many people serving as caregivers across the country, there are a wealth of resources to support caregivers and their loved ones.  Organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association, Dementia Society and others have information, support groups and other resources to help you in your mission.

Remember that a good caregiver is one who cares. You’re not expected to be perfect, so make certain that you give yourself just as much love and patience as you offer your patient.

Reference: CaringBridge (Feb. 13, 2020) “5 Tips to Be a Good Caregiver”

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Coronavirus Scams are Surfacing

Several coronavirus scams are surfacing which will affect seniors most of all. Here are some scams to watch out for and reliable sources for information.

Maryland U.S. Attorney Robert K. Hur is “encouraging all Marylanders to be aware of individuals attempting to profit from the coronavirus pandemic,” reported Marcia Murphy, a USAO spokeswoman.  The Cecil Whig’s recent article entitled “Maryland U.S. attorney warns of COVID-19 scams; Cecil County remains vigilant” cautions that coronavirus scams are being uncovered around the country.

Scammers have been sending e-mails to people claiming to be from local hospitals offering coronavirus vaccines for a fee. However, no vaccine is currently available for the coronavirus. Some of these criminals are using websites that appear to be legitimate but are actually fake websites that infect the users’ computers with harmful malware or seek personal information that can be later used to commit fraud. Many of these coronavirus scams prey on the most vulnerable, especially the elderly.

Effected individuals need to contact the police if they think someone has targeted them for a scam and to educate themselves on the COVID-19-related scams by checking official government websites, like the CDC.gov for information.  Many governmental groups, including at the state and local levels, are also hosting coronavirus information pages.  For example, Harris County, Texas has provided a public health page with information about the virus and resources for assistance.  http://publichealth.harriscountytx.gov/Resources/2019-Novel-Coronavirus

Individuals need to scrutinize anyone who makes a contact with them about a COVID-19 vaccine—which does not exist—and to report any such interaction to law enforcement.

Late last week, U.S. Attorney General William P. Barr sent a memo to all U.S. Attorneys, in which he made the investigation of these coronavirus scams and the individuals perpetrating them a priority. Therefore, federal, state and local law enforcement agencies are prepared to investigate these frauds.

The Federal Trade Commission has consumer information about coronavirus scams on its website, including a complaint form to report scammers. Elderly victims can also call the newly launched Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311), if they believe they are victims of coronavirus scams—or any other type of fraud.

In addition to selling bogus cures and infecting computers by using COVID-19-related communications, other examples of coronavirus scams include:

  • Phishing emails from entities posing as the World Health Organization or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  • Those asking for donations for fraudulently, illegitimate, or non-existent charitable organizations; and
  • Scammers posing as doctors, who ask for patient information for COVID-19 testing and then use that information to fraudulently bill for other tests and procedures.

Barr asked the public to report suspected fraud schemes related to COVID-19, by calling the National Center for Disaster Fraud (NCDF) hotline (1-866-720-5721) or by e-mailing the NCDF at disaster@leo.gov.

Reference:  Cecil Whig (March 23, 2020) “Maryland U.S. attorney warns of COVID-19 scams; Cecil County remains vigilant”

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Creating an End of Life Checklist

Creating an end of life checklist including assets, personal information and locations of important documents will help your family act on your behalf.

Spend the energy, effort, and time now to consider your wishes, collect information and, most importantly, get everything down on paper, says In Maricopa’s recent article entitled “Make an end-of-life checklist.”

The article says that a list of all your assets and critical personal information in an end of life checklist is a guarantee that nothing is forgotten, missed, or lost. Estate planning attorneys can assist you and guide you through the process.  Our firm prepares Estate Planning Binders which include schedules to hold that exact information.  As described here https://galligan-law.com/not-a-little-black-book-but-a-big-blue-estate-planning-binder/  Especially in the age of computers, it’s critical to leave this information for fiduciaries in a way they can find it.  They’ll be glad you did.

Admittedly, it’s an unpleasant subject and a topic that you don’t want to discuss, and it can be a final gift to your family and loved ones.

When you work with an experienced estate planning attorney, you can add any specific instructions you want to make that are not already a part of your will or other estate planning documentation. Make certain that you appoint an executor, one you trust, who will carry out your wishes.

This isn’t a complete list, but consider including the following personal information in your end of life checklist: your name, birthday, and Social Security number, as well as the location of key documents and items, birth certificate, Social Security card, military discharge paperwork (if applicable), medical directives, ID cards, medical insurance cards, house and car keys and details about your burial plot.  Your attorney will give you copies of your estate planning documents, such as your will, trust, documents relating to trust funding, powers of attorney, medical powers of attorney and so on.

In addition, you need to let your family know about the sources of your income. This type of information should include specifics about pensions, retirement accounts, 401(k), or you 403(b) plan.  Be sure to include company and contact, as well as the account number, date of payment, document location, and when/how received.

You also need to include all medicine and medical equipment used and the location of these items.

And then double check the locations of the following items: bank documents, titles and deeds, credit cards, tax returns, trust and power of attorney, mortgage and loan, personal documents, types of insurance – life, health, auto, home, etc. It’s wise to add account numbers and contact information.

Another area you may want to consider is creating a list of online passwords, in printed form, in a secure place for your family or loved ones to use to access and monitor accounts.

Be sure to keep your End of Life Checklist in a secure place, such as a safe or safety deposit box because it has sensitive and private information. Having it in one place will help your family when the time comes to act on your behalf.

Reference: In Maricopa (Feb. 14, 2020) “Make an end-of-life checklist”

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